Resolved

This heart surges as I reflect on the miracle of these last two years. Yes, a miracle, because that's precisely what these eyes have grown to see-- a miraculous stretching, a severe mercy. As the end of this chapter looms close and my insides beat quick with the reality of change fast approaching, I long to build an Ebenezer, some stones of help, because it is only by great grace and his presence unconditional that I have survived, even learned of the sacred.

And what if this Ebenezer was not just a picture on the wall or a journal entry jotted and scratched on lines to recall the hour of aid, but what if I let my days, my very words and being, become an altar of remembrance to this season, to that time when he ushered in more and more and I couldn’t even take all the good in? What if my life reflected this fountain of faithfulness, a brief stretch infused and overflowing with hope in the form of himself?

In light of the journey and the One who asks not for my talents or time, but my very sinew and soul, I resolve, by the grace of God, 

To start day one of this new chapter with desperate dependence, to not wait for the gripping hard to force the flames of trust.

Resolved, to value his voice above all the rest and to return again and again to the Anchor, the One who speaks volumes of my real status and worth--- adopted daughter, heir, delight.

To be a woman, daughter, sister, teacher, and friend abundant in grace, a conduit of unearned dignity, because really, that is the only way to live.

I resolve to wait, for his timing and his purposes and bend and move according to the rhythms of the Spirit at work.

To not instinctively turn shadows into light, difficulty into ease, because those are not his promises and what’s the point of an impossible God unless we’re put in impossible situations?

Resolved, to beg with boldness and be vulnerable in the secret places and often ask for unreasonable things.

I resolve to keep in the forefront, to know and consider the great story—talk about it and live it and remember it’s not about me and never has been.

Come, let us return to the Lord; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will raise us up, that we may live before him. Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord; his going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth.